the day i promised will never come to pass. i told him time will give him strength courage wisdom and one day he will surpass me without trying but until that day character will be built on the heartache of failure and that failure will be the foundation of his success. i watched him grow and as i grew older he came closer to the realization that one day he would have to take it easy on me. that day will never happen but it doesn't stop me from imaging a time where we relax in silence broken by oddness. we both made promises we now cannot keep. i would trade my life for his and his response would be to decline. pride and sadness occupy the same space in my heart. now i look for him for strength lean on his back to get through the days. i hear his voice telling me the magic of time so i settle with the memories of the future and let magic do its thing.
there is something foreign about this world i can't put my finger on it it feels put together haphazardly an ugly kaleidoscope of thoughts and ideas. i walk it with baby eyes listen to the way it speaks but then there are periods where i must block it all out. as the years pass i find it harder and harder to take many situations seriously because the things we fuss about truly don't exist they are constructs of someone's imagination to occupy our time and energy resources more precious than diamonds resources we throw in the wind.
sometimes our plans hinge on the whims of others. we sit wait in a chaotic world with our chaotic thoughts running wild strategies are formed to cut forward into the haze picture a clear path that is susceptible to changes as long as we wait while moving forward we can dance to the tune of our heart and let the vibes move others.
while the world breaks i steady myself broke bread with the council all points of view dig deep into my rib cage the weight pierces skin blood cools the body and while the riots burn the city i stay still wait for the heart to speak push crazy to the side allow ego to tire put jealousy in the corner. i wait for heart to come to terms understanding for courage to display itself in front of you.
i will make love to you with every musical piece as the soundtrack. no matter where i am no matter where you are any note to hit ear drums will remind you of me will remind me of you wrapped together sharing a moment in time to play out indefinitely.
i sharpen teeth not to draw blood but to mark territory to remind the bearer the painful bliss i inflict. i let the moon guide me shoot fair warning to prey i smother insecurities suffocate it until inhibitions die in the night i keep the sun lit my fingers follow every inch of terrain and without a flag i claim what's mine roots dig beneath concrete and when the memory fades i creep into existence from the desire to get lost in my hands to melt in my mouth.
it starts tonight beard become goatee fro becomes ceasar and the devilish grin reveals all the nasty dirty disgusting pleasurable acts our imagination can conjure up.
thoughts of inspiration come true lead me to believe i must follow that path to create to be inspired to write dig deep the shit that lays on ink in excess my destruction will descend on shoulders. i roll dice speed up yellow slow down yellow look into the empty bottle search for the white roll keep suppliers one step removed to negotiate the minefield of creativity.
the basquiat moment passed and yet i still clutch the rum bottle. no longer do i perform civil acts the well is nearly dry and i play in the mud suck patches of liquid until all that remains is the scent of puerto rico bouncing off glass walls. the night is old and broken i watch the decay bloom imagine nanobots repair build knock down the remains of the day. i talked to laughter wax poetic analyzed life love relationships. the questions stay unanswered but she told me to treat it as an experiment now, the question becomes how mad do i become? the test must be recorded and retold. she is almost gone and i will keep kissing her until she disappears.