state of mind

i'm swimming against the current
yet wallow in my stillness.
i push consciousness out
then stomp on it.
lifeless energy twitchs on the floor
it waits for ems.
no sirens
no lights
no help
with its final breath
cpr is performed.
ingrained training counts the rhythm.
i watch the miracle of rebirth
celebrate its homecoming.
i jump back into the water
knowing i don't know how to swim.