Mar 31, 2011

shadow dance (pt.2)

she told me her secrets
and like i promised
i forgot them at the end of the conversation
but i kept the seed
in order to navigate her inner workings.
she read me like a book
revealing myself to me
i sat watched the show of my life
pass by in small colorful square pixels.
i dreamt of a fantasy
and she agreed take part in the show.
in the dressing room
we heard the audience talk.
we said not a word to each other
and to this day
it is one of our memorable conversations.

Mar 30, 2011

music with johnnie

i have imaginary conversations
with various parts of myself.
there is a backlog in my appointment book.
some i push to the side
but i always find room for johnnie.
we walk all over the city
people watch
paint possible stories of what we see.
alone in a room
visions of blue smoke haunt me
these memories go hand in hand
but i had to kill one before it killed me.
life choices.
the warmth burns my chest
melodies and harmonies sink into one another.
i stop breathe then start again.
time ticks
the session closes to an end
until the next time i push myself to explore myself.
a quarter glass turns into an empty glass
this is how two becomes one.
heat radiates through the crushed sand
while i play with its naked body
i wonder where my friend went.

shadow dance (pt.1)

she didn't say a word
just looked at me.
her brown eyes connected with mine
and i knew i would enjoy the journey.

experiment XT.12

Mar 28, 2011


late night hooded thoughts
insomnia sleeps today
the sky falls silent.


i sit with a gentleman named jack
he picks my thoughts
a solid wall breaks
and i spill thoughts.
a few days ago
the radio spoke
i listened
to a similar story.
young men in chicago face death
pride fear bullet wounds
lost friends found in the cemetery.
i was lucky
scraped the surface of the life
avoided being pulled under
someone spoke
said we lack a ritual for boys to become men.
this is true.
i flashed back to a younger version
and remembered for a time
i felt like i missed out
felt that it was normal to be shot
a rite of passage.
to this day
it creeps up
spins its twisted web.

Mar 24, 2011

city as a canvas

people dart in out of its details.
for some reason
they think talent creativity escaped.
false starts discouraged the spirit
who do you tell your dreams to?
they bounce around the head
cannibalized by thoughts
beaten by others
who are too scared to dream
think big
go hard.
if dreams are kept secret
they will die an untimely death.
who do you tell your dreams to
who do you open yourself to
share in the light of you
to see exposed vulnerable parts of you?
the twinkle in your eye shines for a reason
thoughts try to force its way out mouth
for a reason.
drop the draw bridge
grant them safe passage
to the safety of the ones you trust.

Mar 20, 2011

play to lose

i think in terms of
and a mixture of life.
i can get lost on tangents
play in the weeds
talk until the teens revolt.
to know the limit
you must push it
push it passed itself
in order to create a new limit
strengthen the fear muscle.
in a dimly light back staircase
i shoot dice in a urine stained corner.
the click clack echoes in the school yard chamber.
they sing to me
telling me fear is good
excitement to keep learning
keep growing
allow fear to dance with me
on my adventures.
it's a love hate relationship
but i know it is needed
to keep balance
so i encourage fear
to keep singing it's beautiful song
and it encourages me to keep rolling the dice.


the index itches for action.
american me watches scarface
hustles for the dollar
models behavior after all the great
mischief of self interest consumes me
and i enjoy every minute of it.
i care for
happiness wealth
the future of the rising king.
i laugh never showing the sadness
in my eyes to the world.
pain and hate push love out the door
allowing me to pursue the american dream.


i sit back
analyze spheres of influence
comments stick
move thoughts
cause ideas to shift and change.
the image of me
displays the young conflicted revolutionary
ready to pull the index
ready to lead
ready to set fires
ready to be hated
ready to be feared
ready to be a target
ready to give up
and let the world tear itself apart.
eh, why bother to put myself on the line
no one cares to listen
or to step outside their world of drama.
the revolution was televised
and was canceled due to poor ratings.

Mar 13, 2011

carry out

me you
you me
me you
all night
from across the room
i circle collecting intelligence.
my eyes speak of my intentions
the devil grins
let imagination run wild.
i watch failed attempts
take notes
retreat to the storm
then send weapons of mass destruction
to moisten you
soften your walls.
the whirlpool pulls you closer to me
i listen to your heart
beating faster
you try to control it
deep breaths
but that too tells me
the time is right.

Mar 12, 2011

crab lion

i don't know what's happening.
there use to be a happy ignorance surrounding it
keeping it at bay
now i'm conscious and can't decode the meaning.
people had to jog my memory of the upcoming event
now it pops up without warning
reminds me of its visit.
it doesn't bring dread or fear
i'm just curious why it decided to stay surface
maybe to remind me to step on the pedal
take no shorts or prisoners
to grab this world in a choke hold
think big go hard have fun
but those are the positives
the inspiring.
there is a dark side
and i purposefully do not look at it .
if uneasiness comes then it comes
no need to put energy into negative.
i like positive and the color pink
with yellow being a close runner up.
in the meantime and for all time
i'll continue to ask questions
that will lead to answers and more questions
this debate will last until the last breath
an ongoing conversation until it arrives disappears
then returns a year later
and the year after that
and the year after that
and the year after that...

Mar 9, 2011

rain weather

it's trying to remind me.
the force of invisible energy
throws itself against trees
creating the illusion of waves
meeting moist sand
the conversation makes its way back to my consciousness.
she looked at the sky, shivered
and asked if it was to rain
i said no
but then again i don't pay attention to the reports.
it never rains in socal
so i ignore anything weather related
in the off chance sunny skies turn grey and wet
i shrug my shoulders
sometimes you hit snake eyes.
she shivered and said it looks like rain weather
we departed and i looked to the sky
purple orange pushed into blue's territory
the wind kicked up and i agreed
it is rain weather
but like everything in this world
i won't believe it until i see it.

Mar 6, 2011

left for dead

countless times
i abandoned creativity
left it to collect dust
in the caves of my inner thoughts.
its body lay on the streets
spectators watch the carnage
happy it's not them
they keep it moving
stepping over the chalk outline
of my imagination.
the safety protocol kicks in
after an unset period of time
one persistent line
rises from the mud
sticks itself into the ear drum
and bangs until i listen.
so i pay attention
focus on the routines that make me successful
then i shake off complacency
and get back to work.